You probably spent years planning the timing of your retirement, discussing where you’d live and fantasizing about the free time you’d have on your hands. What you may not have considered, is how you’d navigate spending countless hours together with your partner all day, every day. What if your partner has begun to wear on your nerves?

First, know that you’re not alone.

The fact of the matter is that most couples typically spend about six weekday hours with each other during their working years once commuting, work hours, chores, childcare and other life events are factored in. Yet during retirement, that daily interaction can quickly turn to 16 hours a day of togetherness, which can be quite unnerving!

While some couples find increased togetherness to be affirming, and they bond even more than they ever imagined, many others become frustrated by the constant presence of a partner. 

In fact, there has been a sharp rise in divorced couples over 50. This trend has become so common that it has earned a nickname – a “Gray” or “Silver” divorce.

While there can be many contributing factors to older partners ending their relationships, a few simple and mindful shifts in how you interact with each other can go a long way toward saving your relationship from the retirement rut.

The best place to start trying to strengthen a relationship is by discussing your feelings honestly without judgment or blame. 

Chances are that open communication will help you to define your “new normal.” Establishing boundaries and expectations may also make both of you feel more respected in the relationship and comfortable with your new lifestyle.

Here are a few of the challenges that may be getting in the way of enjoying your retirement with your partner:

While these obstacles may feel insurmountable, you can work toward finding common ground with your partner and chart a new path forward.

You may find that one of the simplest solutions, regardless of what may be getting in the way, is to simply spend some time apart. Try pursuing your own interests, do things with your own friends, cultivate new hobbies or volunteer opportunities and encourage your partner to do the same. 

Varied experiences will help to spark conversations with your partner and you will likely discover that you are more interested in spending time together having had some time apart.

No matter the daily challenges, sometimes depression or anxiety can cloud your judgment and impact your relationship with your partner. Be sure to take good care of yourself and encourage your loved one to do the same. 

Here are some simple tips to keep yourself happy and healthy:

Maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner may not be easy, but with a bit of love and effort you can rekindle your relationship and strengthen your bond. You may even find that 24/7 togetherness is exactly what you wanted after all!